I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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