Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
