i think i have two assholes
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Come on in and take your pants off
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
