Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
