I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I want to make a zoo with you.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
