i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
PANTIES FOUND
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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