You made me cry and you don't even care
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
