Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
