Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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