I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
