My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
