Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
