That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I've blown a few things in my day
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
