I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
