8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
