dude i'm inner monologue high
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
