I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
