so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
