we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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