May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
