Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
