I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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