Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
