I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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