Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
