Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
