STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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