how can u be prego again
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
