More tranny stories later!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
