i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
