Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Randomize
