your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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