Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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