No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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