Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Shame - the story of my life.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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