I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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