i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's rum buckets o'clock
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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