i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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