Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
