brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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