U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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