So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
