I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
