yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
