I think im going to throw up on grandma
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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