I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
