and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
