No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
