Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
