we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
why do cheetos always look like penises
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you had me at cake vodka
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
