Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
